Vancouver – Day 2

Today I went on a guided tour of Vancouver Downtown & Capilano Canyon. I got up at 8:00 and got some breakfast before getting signed in on the tour.

Our tour guide was Erik – somewhat of a local celebrity and generally brilliant guy. I will tell you a bit about Erik because he is interesting and has lived in Vancouver for 40 years. He originated from Copenhagen and whist walking down a street in his home town saw a picture in a window which took his attention. It was an aerial picture of Vancouver and was the subject of a talk and slide show that night. He attended the show and decided to go. He has been here ever since! He started these tours 13 years ago and added this second tour 7 years ago simply because he loves the city and its surroundings and wants to share it with people. He has also been featured on “Lonely Planet”.

We started out walking down to the beach and harbour front – literally two blocks down the road. From there he took us through various walkways and paths pointing out many various interesting landmarks (I must go and see the illuminated brush at night) before we stopped at a coffee shop for coffee and lunch sandwiches. After this we headed for a bus stop. We took a total of three buses to get to the Capilano Canyon area. I thought this was brilliant as we got to see various parts of the city (it is a very big city) as we travelled through it. We also used diesel and electric busses. (Vancouver has some wonderful electric busses which are just like ordinary single-decker busses - with tyres & suspension – but run on electricity. They are not as rough on the backside as the trolley busses in Toronto, and are of the “kneeler” variety to allow wheelchair access. One thing I must say about Vancouver is that it is very wheelchair friendly – there are ramps, lifts and automatic doors everywhere.)

When we arrived at our destination we had a walk across the Columbia Dam which creates a reservoir supplying virtually all of Vancouver’s drinking water. As it is fed by ice melt water it is 99.9% pure. Erik took us on a walk in a big semi-circle which finished up at the base of the Columbia Dam where there is a salmon hatchery. This had a very interesting and informative exhibition of the types of salmon and their growing, migrating and spawning cycles, plus a glass walled section alongside the outflow from the dam where one can watch the salmon leaping upstream. They sure do leap high! This was where we had lunch.

After lunch we set off for the Capilano Canyon Suspension Bridge. This is one of the longest in the world. Before crossing over it Erik showed us a picture of a tree which fell on the bridge following a storm. The tree was totally supported by the bridge as it had snapped near its base in the high winds. The tree weighed 43 tons and the bridge hadn’t budged at all. It was cut up and the bridge was closed for a month while it was inspected by engineers. The bridge required no repair work at all – apart from the removal of the tree! On the other side of the canyon was a tree-top walk which was great fun and offered some splendid views of the canyon. The walkways had all been constructed & fastened to the trees without the use of nails.

After viewing the canyon and crossing back over the bridge we all met up for our journey back into downtown Vancouver. This was one bus journey back.
When we got back into the centre of town we had another walking tour of parts including Vancouver library. This is a most impressive structure fashioned loosely on the Coliseum. It was the most expensive of four submitted designs and cost $100 million. This was no problem though as it was put to a public referendum on the design – and the tax payers chose the most expensive one. The most extraordinary feat of this project was that it was completed on time and on budget! (Olympic London take note!) The library has a stock of over one million books, 275 computers (which can be used free of charge for Internet & email access) and levies no charges whatsoever. Anyone can join the library and withdraw up to 60 books at one time. Unfortunately we couldn’t go into the library as all public buildings are closed at the moment due to strike action by the local authorities union. The strike is currently in its 10th week – and counting.

From the library we then had another coffee stop before heading off to our final bus stop & journey back to the hostel. All in all a thoroughly worthwhile tour I would, and have, recommend to anyone to do. There is another different tour on Monday and so I signed up for that.

Having removed my wet clothing I resolved to get myself a properly waterproof jacket and another sweatshirt (as I only brought one with me) at the first opportunity – like tomorrow.

Having freshened up – well dried off – I then went in search of food. As I didn’t want to stray too far, I had done enough walking for one day, I decided to clench my buttocks and venture down Davie Street. This, I have to say, has an amazing range of restaurants & eating houses. I settled for Gigi’s Steakhouse. A very strange looking woman showed me to my seat. She was round – well it looked like she had been designed by a compass (the drawing circles instrument, not the direction finding one) with two settings: large for the body and small for the head! Actually I am incorrect; I should say spheres not circles. Stick on two short fat legs and dye the hair a plum/mauve colour insert about two kilos of metal in all areas of the face & head and you should get a pretty good picture. She was very nice & polite and couldn’t do enough to ensure “my dining experience was enhanced” but she just looked rather odd to me. Anyway, the meal was lovely and after eating more than enough I set about walking back to the hostel in as manly and heterosexual manner as I could – even though I felt pretty much as my server looked (I possibly looked like her as well – minus the metal).

Well after dark Davie Street really comes alive. It certainly seems like one of my theories has been proved: Hardley-Ridables are the gay bike of choice (good job you got rid of yours Brucey) especially with tassels & studs! It looked like chucking out time at the Blue Oyster! I do still believe in “live & let live” and am not homophobic at all – I can accept men walking or skipping arm in arm or hand in hand, it is only when they start snogging each other my stomach turns. However, I didn’t have to witness this so my very full stomach remained so. I was a little intrigued as to how one gets leather to be that tight though – it must hurt.

Having returned to the hostel (worry not Jules, the botty is still intact) I returned to my room to encounter The Geordies again. They were just about to troop on outside for a smoke and some beers in which they instantly invited me to join them. Thanking them most kindly I did. We sat outside supping beers & smoking chatting about all things sport “Hey, that American Football is shite innit man?” – “Yes” I said, “it has even more stops & starts than Rugby League” – “Aye, Rugby League’s for cissies man – Rugby Union is the only real rugby.” I sensed I was among friends here. We also roundly condemned baseball as being the most boring game on earth – the Yanks think cricket is boring; compared to baseball a test match is played at the pace of 20Twenty! *

After a while and many laughs we all decided to retire for the night especially as the lads were checking out tomorrow in order to move into the house they have rented for their stay in Vancouver.

[* = I have attempted to watch both of these “national sports” on television. Football as they call American football here – you know the one played by butch boys in body armour – is one of the most boring spectator sports I have endured, and that was on television! Matches last 3-4 hours and apparently most Yanks who go to these games spend most of it eating – no wonder as you can’t smoke! Play has no flow or momentum to it, if one gets to watch a minute of action one is doing well as the whole thing seems to rely on endless replays of the last x seconds of “action” from approximately 80 different angles (slight exaggeration). Every time play stops – about every 45 seconds – half the team are replaced, there are endless “timeouts” and play actually stops for TV commercial breaks! It is commercialised crap for people with the attention span of a gnat! I don’t like it and definitely won’t be going to see a “live” game.

Rounders for Americans, or baseball, suffers a similar fate under my withering scrutiny. I watched some of this on TV (by the way the whole TV set up appears to cater for people with ADD as it just keeps jumping from “action” to commentators to replays and various combinations of all three with the rapidity of a strobe light. They should give epilepsy warnings at the beginning of each programme. (Perhaps they do, but I have missed them.)) and was it ever BORING. I watched approximately 20 pitches to various “batsmen”. (I had missed some and then counted 15 pitches in a row before a ball was hit.) The same thing could never happen in cricket because either runs would have been scored or wickets would have been taken. The “excitement” seems to be injected by fast talking “ballshitters” in a commentary box. These guys could sound excited at the World Paint Drying Cup final!]