Arriving Departure

Departure date is approaching!
Just in case any of you were getting worried that I was ever going to depart – worry not, come the 30th August 2007 I will be on my way to Canada for the first leg of my journey.
I promised a bit more structure to my ramblings in my last post, so I now oblige.
Having adjusted, mostly, to being technically homeless I must reflect on events from leaving my flat to the present. I also need to make a confession & issue an apology. Should humble pie be made with short crust or flaky pastry? Will the crop devastation due to floods in England affect the price & availability of fresh humbles? How many should one use for a decent pie? [Are you allowed custard with it?] (For proper penance purposes humble pie should be served cold, dry, and eaten with a small spoon.)
Several things happened to alleviate my feeling of initial isolation – mainly due to good friends. This further reinforces my own faith – which does not come from a book – in human nature and the fact that virtually all human people are good! [Thatcher, Blair & Bush need not apply as they are neither people nor human. My best guess is reptilian – discuss.]
Before the humbles begin to ferment I had better get this pie made & eat it! I hope you can feel the cringes in my keystrokes as I relate this tale.
Along with good mates John & Ellie allowing me access to their wireless network and Sid & Carol allowing me access to their wireless network, house & home, I began to feel more connected with the world and could check emails & receive all the booking confirmations I was expecting. This was aided even more by my good friend Bruce offering me the use of his courtesy car. [Sportwagen is a very good vehicle repair shop. Check out www.sportwagen.co.uk.]
It is also quite disturbing how we come to rely on having one’s own transport – usually a four wheeled box which some sad people believe is more than it is; a four wheeled tin box – and the ability to just go where & when you want without having to find a timetable of some variety, and then ensuring one has the right change or a credit card to use whatever public transport is available.
Anyway, I had the use of this courtesy car for a week before I had the discourtesy to damage it! The only things I have to say in mitigation are that:
• It was dark
• I was reversing
• I was looking over my right shoulder at the time
• The post was dark and not displaying the correct lights to front or rear
Needless to say, after contacting the post with the front nearside quarter – the post made no effort to move and remained resolutely were it was – I stopped, had one of those Basil Fawlty moments where he hoped it was a dream, found out it wasn’t, felt sick!
One of the worst things I’ve ever had to do was go and confess the actions of my carelessness.

The first leg of my journey is now planned & booked. This should go something like:
• Fly from Heathrow to Toronto
• Check in to hostel – relax, see a bit of Toronto for eight days
• Get on a train – travel west across Canada
• Get off the train in Vancouver
I will spend some time in Vancouver and take in some of the Rockies. The plan from there is to drop down to Seattle and have a look around there before heading up into Alaska – by then it will be approaching November – nice timing Phil!
I don’t know how long I will spend in Alaska – it is rather big I hear – but the next flight I have to aim for is the 30th November out of Washington.

I will have to introduce you to my travelling companion – Spank (picture to follow). He is an Orang-utan – a member of the ape family, so not a monkey - and so has the full title of “Spank the Orang-utan”. He will be providing insights & points of reference on the places of interest I visit, and, who knows, could end up getting his own children’s TV show!
I was given custody of Spank by his previous owner – Krazy Karla – one of my old work colleagues from when my old workplace used to be fun to go to. Yes, I actually used to look forward to going to work then because we had a good laugh and worked well in our team – all the work used to get done too! There is something to be said for a happy workplace, especially as one spends far too much time doing it! That particular soap box has been broken up and converted into a camp fire – so I won’t even go there!

In my sporadic Internet connections I have looked at the comments people have kindly – so far – responded with. I thank the Trogg for his compliments, I am actually taking two towels and do know where they are at the moment. Trogg is also “towel knowledgeable” as he took his motorcycle over to Australia “back in the 80’s” and invited me to come with him. At the time I was a young idiot with ludicrous delusions of; “... I’ve got a job.”, “what would I do about getting another job?” needless to say it took twenty-odd years for me to find the answer. It wasn’t 42, so it couldn’t have been the ultimate question. I resume my search...
Anyway, Trogg went to Australia, loved it, gave up his job! (Shock to the young idiot system! What would he do now?) Stayed longer and had a wonderful time. When he came home it was like the great Norse god returns. [If they ever get around to making a film version of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency then Trogg has to be cast as Thor. For anyone who does not understand what I am talking about; “Sod off and read more Douglas Adams!”] (Then come back and laugh.)
Actually, if I remember correctly, the Norse god disappeared to Valhalla for a week and came back minus an appendix. Sounds like this Valhalla might be dangerous.
The point of this ramble is to establish some of the background behind how I come to be where I am today. The past does shape the future. Discuss.
OK, so “life returned to normal”, everyone had jobs, places to live, and the shackles were fastened on the hamster wheel of working life. However, the seed had been sown. Life in general will provide enough manure to grow anything; fears, hopes, paranoia, serenity, joy, despair, happiness, sadness. [Psychology weirdoes might be interested in the order of those things. The answer is “yes, at the moment.”]
People can be catalysts as well. I told you earlier that more would be heard of the Trogg. Well this concerns his wife – Moe.
“Back in the 90’s” we planned a holiday to Australia. The objective was to hook up with some old friends Trogg had made on his original pilgrimage. (Since that time they had all been to the UK and asked us when we were going to come and see them.) Along the way we would do a camping safari of Queensland – from Cairns to the most northern point of Australia, or vice versa, we actually finished back in Cairns – a balloon ride over the Simpson Desert to watch the sun rise, and hundreds of other good fun memories, a list of which would be boring to the reader.
Anyway, part of the planned activities was to see the Great Barrier Reef – how could one not? During one of our “planning sessions” (which consisted of much laughter and the consumption of a bottle of port) Moe suggested learning to scuba dive in order to see the Great Barrier Reef properly.
This we did, and it is something I have kept up. I give thanks to Moe every time I take to the water, especially when I see something truly spectacular like an electric clam (yes it was real) or a shoal of catfish feeding on the sea bed and leaving a ploughed wake behind them, a sleeping turtle (they are BIG), a real giant clam (it was huge!). I will also be grateful when I get back to The Great Barrier Reef!

As usual, I digress (and ramble), but may eventually get back to the point. My rucksack is packed – in fact it has been for the last two months – and I am ready to go. I will re-check my rucksack contents, just to be sure...
The seeds are sprouting, the towel is packed, and the clock is ticking. [Even I can’t get any more clichés in one sentence!]
So how do I feel? Nervous? Elated? Expectant?
All of the above?
More later...

A hurried update

A brief intersection on the highway of life:


The preparations for my ventures into the world have given me the chance to experience some interesting emotions.
I have moved home a few times and it is grief – something always goes wrong and it always takes longer than one plans (or intends). However; this time is different. I am packing up to move nowhere – but to go... lots of places. It is quite weird to pack one’s material life, so far, into boxes whilst harbouring the thought of “I wonder when I’ll see this again?” at the same time as knowing why it is being done – because I chose to.


I have to confess to the odd wave of panic - along the lines of “Shit, am I going to get this done in time?” and “Bloody hell, how have I managed to acquire so much crap?” This usually passes fairly quickly as I get on with packing another box or ruthlessly converting the pile of “stuff” (emptied out of a draw) into rubbish, if nothing else it has made me appreciate the refuse collection service my local council provides.


I have had in mind for a while – since I moved into my present flat – the idea that I would like to be able to fit all my possessions into a Luton van. Then I would be able to move anywhere in one hit. This I should be able to achieve now, so I adopted a new challenge of packing everything I need into one rucksack. [Yes I know, that should read; everything I think I need!]
I have to say though, the whole prospect is certainly more exciting than frightening and I am looking forward to getting started.
Yes, there will be things I miss: being able to wander about my flat in a pair of underpants drinking a mug of coffee, just going to bed when I’m tired and leaving whatever mess there might be behind [it was always still there in the morning], making a bacon sandwich at 3am because I’m hungry, these are simple pleasures one can take for granted if the circumstances allow.


Of course there will be people I will miss – but then I intend to stay in touch with most of them. In fact being thousands of miles away will probably induce me to make more of an effort than if one was “just up the road”, it doesn’t mean that people get forgotten though.

In hindsight perhaps I should flag any of these entries as: “Silly Emotional Bit” or present them in a different font or use a pretty pink font colour. Probably the best thing to do would be to not post them at all. I will think on this...


This part should definitely be in pretty pink font.


Having moved out of my flat I am now living in one room at my Mother’s house. This has certainly taught me some lessons for my forthcoming journey:

1. How to get used to not having one’s own space
2. How to compress one’s living environment into a very small space
3. How to not be able to find anything because it is packed away somewhere


The last should not be too much of a problem as I will only have to upend my rucksack & shake it.


Another thing which hit me far harder than I would have thought was not having constant & instant access to the Internet! Yes, it might sound strange but this gave me a feeling of being cut off from the rest of the world. Isn’t it frightening how we can come to expect technology to be there?
Having said that; I am taking advantage of access to the Interweb (terminology courtesy of Marcus Brigstocke) to hastily post this and bring things “up-to-date”ish.
Things seem to be happening rather quickly now – as I knew they would – because all the last minute things are beginning to fall into place. Using the tautology of jigsaws & Rolf Harris - I still can’t see what it is yet!


So, to all you avid readers, or members of “help” groups, I promise to put some slightly more structured drivel in my next post. Honestly! And that includes the apology to Bruce (see I told you I would do it Big Nose – or purveyor of dairy produce)! Bugger this I’m off to stoning.


More later...